My Journey through grief….
Dealing with the loss of a loved one is the most painful experiences you will ever have to deal with. There is no instant remedy available to the brokenhearted. All I had was My Faith.
Knowing that Jesus Christ was with me in my pain gave me strength, but not at first.
We all need to understand that death is a real part of life, we need to learn to let go, and let God work. This takes time.
I remember when my best friend died. I experienced total devastation, I thought I would never smile again. In fact even though my friend had an amazing faith in Jesus Christ, she accepted his will above everything, even though she might die. I was astonished at her,
Well I wasn't that accepting at all,
I wanted to pray like mad and to storm Heaven with my prayers, anything to stop this cancer. Eventually she made me calm down and accept Gods will, NOT MINE.
Kate died on the first of December, a day we both agreed to meet up and have fun, just the two of us, but this was not to be.
I was left alone, depressed and very angry with God. You see I simply could not accept she was gone, it did not make any sense to me.
Night after night I cried bitter and sore, walking the countryside into the early hours of the morning, trying to prove to God I was really suffering here, and maybe he would take pity on me, and bring her back. I believed in miracles, I was desperate.
I could not even think of praying. If anyone had mentioned religion or God I would get very angry, even though I absolutely believed in God, I loved God, I still felt let down by him and so angry.
My dear friend had so much to live for, we had so many things we wanted to do together, but all that was gone now, my only consolation was I knew I loved her, and was there for her during her illness.
I learned many things during my grief, that I was not alone, that a part of me no longer lived on this earth. I physically kept rubbing my chest because I felt such an aching void inside me, that needed to be filled, and in my grief, I knew it was up to God to fill it.
Our connections to each other on this earth are supernatural, the sole bond between family and friends, are truly a gift from God. We need to value how special our time is with each other, because it will end, and all too briefly. The longer I live the more I realise the value of time.
Time for friends, family etc. The old sayings are very true, 'Here today gone tomorrow!'
So where is God in all of this? He is everywhere. He is in our grief, grieving with us. Crying the same tears we cry, hurting the same. United to each heart. This was part of his suffering in the Garden of Gethsemane. He saw you when he suffered in that garden. He saw you,hurting, crying and in pain, and he prayed for your strength, knowing one day you will understand,
when He will wipe every tear away.
Death is a constant reminder of our passing through this world. We all will leave, that much is certain, but my advice is this.
Love well. Give of yourself. Forgive those who hurt you. Thank God for everything. For we know not the hour when he will call us to himself. Matthew 24:42
And when the time comes for our passing, may we leave a beautiful legacy to those who loved us.